When it was three days
Before Sosa festival
Bambili invited me to his room
He sat on his old wooden bed
The one his own fathers had sat
Wiping the mouth of his gun

When I entered, he didn't look up
He only pointed to a leather sack
Hanging idly on the wall
And began to speak so slowly
Like someone afraid of his own words

"Kante, in that sack is your destiny
Tonight you will follow me to the sacred groove
Where you will dance in the great circle
You will drink life from the pot of wisdom
You will see what the eagle cannot see from the cliff of the wind
You will know what only men should know"

Too many thoughts crossed my mind
Like never before, I was scared
Scared of the night, of the forest, of Bambili
I felt lost in a life I doubt if it's ever mine

"Are we going to hunt again?
It's three days to Sosa
When no one must walk the street at night
When banters of lovers are only done in whispers
Why the groove at an hour
Forbidden by the beginners of our race"

Fear pounded in my heart
Panic crept out of my mouth
For I know Bambili says only what he will do
And tonight, it was not an opinion
It was an order

I thought he expected me to just obey
But he continued anyway
And I saw sadness in his eyes
I heard fears in his voice
I knew whatever it was Bambili was hiding
It was bigger than him
He has a heart beating in harmony with his dead fathers

"My son, you know little of who you are
But tonight you will know better
Because this night you will become a man
If you must bear my name when I'm gone
If you must stand for the course of your people
You be initiated into manhood"

I looked at his furrowed eyes
A man whose heart is stiffen by too many war
Whose eyes had seen kings beg to be spared
Who had bathed in the blood of hundreds
Scattered on the plains of history

Then I remember that morning when we sat on a fallen tree
As the dew announced the birth of another day
It was a quiet dawn after a long fruitless hunt

He told me how he was initiated into adulthood
He had to cross nine hills with other boys
Because not even the mountains should stop a man of Tansa
He swim across Omiri river
Because no river can stop a determined soldier
He slept seven night in the groove
At the mercy of wild dogs and leopards
To learn that fear is a prison in the mind
Where all cowards live or die
He fired his first gun into the wild
A man should never turn the mouth of death to his people

But I could only think
Of nine hills, seven cold nights, the great Omiri river
I was so afraid that I wanted to run
Far from Bambili, far from tradition, far from Tansa
I wanted to run to where Amanda had gone
Hidden from the clutches of culture
From this trepidation in my spirit

"Kante, this is destiny
From which there is no running away
It is the fate you carry since birth
It is the blood that runs in your vein
You are my first and only son
You alone will wade the sword of Tansa when I'm gone
You are the defender of this land
Culture don't give you many choices
It only tells you how you should live
And those who chose to ignore this
Will father vagabonds forever alien to themselves
Beggars who will cloth themselves in the rags of strangers
Who will see themselves through the eyes of another
Who will be defined by those who wonder who they are"

"Will I climb the nine hills?
Swim through the great river?
Sleep seven nights in the dark dangerous wild
Hunted by beasts and death?

"Son, it is when you learn to stop asking too many questions
That you begin to understand who you are
Time has changed and the days like mine are gone
Like an antelope who escaped the trap of lions
After straying into the den of death
Those of us who knew these days
Cannot forgive the betrayal of times and seasons
May be it is our fate to be lost
Like the peacock who with good mind
Dances to display its beauty to the world
Only to end in the soup of its owner

During the days of King Adimba

© Olatuja Oloyede